Another month went by and things were both better and worse. Billie's grades were going up but, finals were approaching and he still needed to get his application in. Gerard was back to homeschooling which worked out really great but, there were other problems he needed to deal with now. He kept finding bruises on Billie's body and he knew they were from his mother but couldn't get Billie to do anything about it. The best Gerard could do was keep Billie with him as much as possible but he was afraid of what would happen if Billie went back home.
The other thing was that the nightmares weren't stopping. It was happening every night now, normally more than once and his anxiety was coming back too. Even though he didn't have to face everyone at school, everything made him nervous and he started shaking really easily. It didn't take much to trigger him.
"Okay, so this is what you have to do." Gerard said as they sat at the dining room table, his mother working upstairs so they wouldn't be bothered. "This one's the college application. All you have to do is write a fifteen page essay and if you score just good enough on your SAT, you can make it."
"Alright." Billie sighed, taking the papers from Gerard. "What's the other one?"
"Financial aid application."
"Oh Jesus." He groaned, laying his head on the table.
"BeeJ, if you can get this and find a job, even just minimum wage, you can afford this place."
"I'm not smart enough for all this stuff. How am I gonna write fifteen pages in two weeks?"
"Don't worry about it, I'm gonna help you." Gerard smiled, leaning in to press a soft little kiss to Billie's forehead. "We'll make it fun. I promise."
Billie turned is head to the side so he could look at Gerard and stuck his lower lip out in a pout that made the younger boy giggle. "How?"
"Mm, tell you what." Gerard whispered, twirling a lock of Billie's hair around his finger. "Every five pages you write and show to me, I'll give you a blowjob."
"Yup." Gerard nodded, watching as Billie blushed.
Billie chuckled and sat up, leaning in to give Gerard a proper kiss. "I mean that." He pulled away a bit and looked Gerard's outfit over, smirking a little. "You're starting to dress like me. Don't think I don't notice."
"Eh." Gerard shrugged. "My mom made me buy some new clothes and I don't know, I thought you'd kinda like this stuff."
"I do like it." Billie murmured, looking over the black skinny jeans and fake leather jacket. "Sexy."
"Shut up." Gerard laughed, handing Billie a pen. "Now start filling in the financial aid stuff, the sooner we get that in, the better."
"Fiiiinnneeee." Billie leaned over the table and started to fill in the various pieces of information.
Gerard leaned back in his chair and glanced down, suddenly catching sight of a large, deep purple mark on Billie's lower back, just visible in the area where the back of his shirt rode up. "BeeJ?" He gulped.
"What's on your back?"
"What?" Billie quickly sat himself up and tugged the hem of his shirt down a little. "Nothing."
"Billie..." Gerard whispered in a hurt voice. "That looked really bad, did she do that to you?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"But that looks really-"
"Gerard, I can handle it."
"Can I at least see it? You might need something for it." Gerard insisted, moving a little closer to Billie.
Billie glared and leaned away from him. "Gerard. Just stop, okay? It's nothing."
"Please Billie, you're really scaring me. Just let me see how bad it is." Gerard begged, reaching forward to pull up Billie's shirt.
"I said stop!" Billie hissed, grabbing Gerard's wrist in a way that made Gerard wince from the pain of Billie's grip.
"Y-You're hurting me." Gerard choked, his heart starting to pound.
"Fuck." Billie sighed, letting go of him immediately. "Damn it, I'm... I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Just please, leave me alone about the bruises."
Gerard started to tremble and he put his hands in his lap, already feeling soreness from where Billie grabbed him.
"Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to grab you so hard."
"I-I'm fine." Gerard whimpered under his breath, staring down at his shoes.
"No you're not." Billie mumbled, running his hand through his hair. "You're shaking again."
"I'm sorry." Gerard sniffed, biting down on his lower lip and clenching his fists a little to try and stop the shaking. "I-I just got a little freaked out, I-I'll leave if you want me to."
"Gerard, we're in your house."
"Y-Yeah but I could still go if you want me to." He swallowed.
"Baby... Come on. Don't be like this. I'm not gonna ask you to leave." Billie whispered, moving his chair over so he could pull Gerard into a hug. "I didn't mean to scare you. I'm sorry."
"I-It's okay." Gerard stuttered, nuzzling his head in the crook of Billie's neck.
"And look, I know you're worried about me." Billie said softly, kissing the top of Gerard's head. "But I don't want you to think about that stuff. I've got it under control. I promise."
"B-But she's hurting you..."
"It's not your job to worry about that. It's my problem, not yours."
"But I love you, of course it's my job."
Billie sighed. "Gee, I'm asking you to let it go. Can you do that for me?"
Gerard swallowed the lump in his throat and pulled away from Billie a bit. "I-I'm sorry BeeJ. I can't. At least just let me see the injuries so I can help you, then I'll drop it for the night. I promise."
Billie groaned and rested his forehead back on the table. "Gee."
"Please, BeeJ? Just let me help you a little."
"You're always helping me."
"So what? You're hurt. Just let me see. We can go downstairs." Gerard cooed to him, resting a hand on his shoulder.
"You're reallly gonna make me do this?"
"Fine." Billie huffed, looking back towards the basement door. "But you can't tell anyone about this stuff, not Ray, not your mom. No one. Got it?"
Gerard nodded and wiped his eyes a little before grabbing Billie's hand and leading him back towards his room, careful not to slip on the stairs. "Let's just go in the bathroom and you can show me."
Billie shrugged his shoulders and let Gerard take him there, kicking the door to the bathroom shut once they were inside. "What do you want me to do?"
"Just take your shirt off first so I can see." Gerard whispered.
"Fine, just... just promise not to freak out or anything." Billie mumbled before pulling his t-shirt up over his head and dropping it to the white tiled floor.
Gerard's mouth hung open a little bit and his eyes began to water. "BeeJ..." Gerard should have been way more suspicious when Billie had been sleeping with his shirt on, his entire back was covered in dark black and purple bruises and small cuts or lacerations. "Where did the cuts come from?"
"Um... Beer bottle." Billie shrugged. "I-It's fine, they're shallow."
"Let me see the front."
Billie turned around and scowleld, crossing his arms over his chest. "Can I put my shirt back on?"
"Not yet, let me deal with those cuts." Gerard murmured, turning to open up the medicing cabinet so he could grab some Bactine and bandages.
"Aw, come on. That shit hurts."
"Just let me do it, Billie. I'm not gonna let you get an infection."
"Ugh." Billie groaned, turning around again. "Just do it fast, okay?"
"I will." Gerard cooed, leaning over Billie's shoulder to kiss his cheek as he shook the small bottle of disinfectant. He quickly sprayed each of the cuts, squeezing Billie's shoulder every time he winced. "Almost done." He put a small bandage over all of them so they wouldn't be exposed and set the Bactine back on the counter while Billie got his shirt back on.
"Can we go watch T.V. or something now?"
"Yeah but, we have to start working on that stuff again in a little while, okay?"
"Alright." Billie mumbled.
Gerard's heart sank a little and he walked over to wrap his arms around Billie's neck. "Are you mad at me?"
"Why would I be mad at you?"
"I don't know, it just... sounds like you are." Gerard shrugged, leaning his head on Billie's shoulder. "Will you cuddle with me and shit if I put on that show you like?"
"Yeah." Gerard chuckled, pulling away to open the bathroom door. "Whatever you want."
Gerard pressed a light kiss to one of Billie's bruises and looked up to smile at the taller boy. "Better get me that fifth page by tomorrow if you want that blowjob." He winked, pushing himself up a little so he could kiss the side of Billie's neck. "And don't forget to wake up at six so my mom doesn't find out you're sleeping here."
"I know." Billie yawned. "Thanks for being the big spoon, I'm kinda like... freezing." He blushed, tugging the covers up a little.
"And you say I'm the cute one." Gerard smirked, nuzzling his nose against Billie's temple. "I'll try not to wake you up with nightmares."
"No way, wake me up if you have them." Billie frowned. "You'll keep having them otherwise." He grabbed one of Gerard's hands and kissed his boyfriend's knuckles, nuzzling his cheek against them a little because he loved the feel of Gerard's skin.
"Mm, remeber when you were all freaked out about this stuff?" Gerard smiled.
"Hey, I'd do anything for you now. It makes up for it." Billie shut his eyes and laced his fingers through Gerard's, holding his hand by his chest. "Sleep tight, Baby."
"Sweet dreams BeeJ." Gerard chuckled, kissing the back of Billie's neck. "I love you."
"Gerard you have to breathe better." Billie whispered, holding his shaking lover in his arms. "Come on, take a deep breath. You're hyperventilating."
"I-I-I'm t-trying." Gerard choked, his whole body trembling.
"Okay, okay I'm right here." Billie cooed. "Just remember, it was just a dream. You're safe here with me. All that stuff is over, no one's gonna hurt you. Just cry it out if that's what you need."
Gerard whimpered softly and hugged Billie tightly, trying to even out his breathing as the tears rolled down his cheeks. "P-P-Please distract me o-or something."
"What do you want me to do? You want the T.V. on?"
"N-No I wanna keep hearing your voice." Gerard sniffed, trying to contain his sobs. He hated these nightmares more than anything. They were all just flashbacks to what his father did to him. "Will you sing for me?"
"What?" Billie blushed.
"S-Sing for me?" Gerard asked in the most innocent voice Billie had ever heard. "I know it sounds dumb but please? S-Sing that acoustic one you wrote. I really liked it."
"I don't have my guitar."
"I know. I just need your voice." Gerard snivelled, his chest still heaving. "P-Please?"
"U-Um, yeah whatever you want." Billie said softly, clearing his throat and keeping Gerard close before he started to softly sing to him. "Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road... Time grabs you by the rist directs you where to go." His cheeks turned pink and he felt really silly singing this out loud with no instruments but, he could already feel Gerard starting to relax a bit. "So make the best of this test and don't ask whyy... It's not a question but, a lesson learned in time. It's something unpredictable but, in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life..."
Gerard wiped his eyes and rested his head on Billie's shoulder, his breathing beginning to slow down a little.
Billie hummed out the melody for him and held him tight, rubbing his back to soothe him. "So take the photographs and still frames in your mind. Lay 'em on a shelf in good health and good time... Tattoos of memories-" He forgot the next few words and hummed them for Gerard, making him laugh a little. "For what it's worth, it was worth all the while. It's something upredictable but, in the end it's right... I hope you had the time of your life."
"Thank you." Gerard gulped, giving Billie a little squeeze. "I love your singing."
"Hey my voice isn't nearly as good as yours." Billie smirked, poking Gerard's belly.
"Ew don't, I'm all chubby there." Gerard giggled, pushing Billie's hand away.
"Aw, you have a cute little tummy." He teased. "It's adorable." Billie tickled Gerard's ribs a little and smiled when Gerard started laughing. "Feel better now?"
"A little." Gerard smiled as he pulled Billie down into a quick kiss. "Can you put the T.V. on for me? I can't really go back to sleep yet but, you can."
"Sure Baby." Billie yawned, reaching back to grab the remote from the nightstand as he laid back down and Gerard snuggled in next to him so he could see the T.V. screen. "If I fall back asleep and you need me, just wake me up."
"Okay." Gerard sighed, planting a little kiss on his cheek. "Goodnight... Again."
"Goodnight." Billie chuckled. "Sweet dreams, Cutie."
The next day, Billie had to go home after school to go and get ready for a gig that night so, Gerard had Ray come over after school to keep him company.
"Sure you're okay, Dude?" Ray frowned as he worked the video game controller in his hand. "You look kinda... tired."
"I'm fine." Gerard shrugged. "Just not sleeping well again."
"Oh shit, are the flashbacks back?"
"Yeah, kinda." He sighed. "BeeJ's been helping though."
"You guys sleep together?"
"He stays over almost every night unless he has a gig."
"And your mom lets him?"
"She doesn't know." Gerard chuckled, leaning back against the wall his bed was pinned up against. "But it's nice. He helps me with the nightmares." He glanced over at the alarm clock and grimaced. "I'm not leaving for another two hours. Sure you don't want to come see him play tonight?"
"Nah, I gotta study."
"Shit, that reminds me. BeeJ has another test tomorrow. I barely quizzed him on it." Gerard frowned. "Y'know what, I should probably try to catch him before the show so I can give him some notes. You can still come if you want."
"Sorry, can't. I'll just head home. See you around okay?" Ray shrugged, pausing the video game. "Go have fun with your weird rock star boyfriend."
"Okay." Gerard chuckled. "See you around Ray."
Gerard had to convince his mother to let him take the car out but made his way across town as soon as he could to find the bar Billie was playing at. It was dark out by the time he got there and if he was being honest, the place looked a little scary. He could hear rock music blasting from the inside and the whole bar looked incredibly run down from the outside, not to mention there were a ton of creepy alleyways nearby. Gerard considered going inside but, figured that Billie would probably be out behind it.
He stuffed his keys in his pocket and started to walk around to the back of the bar, assuming that was where the van would be parked. "Billie?" He swallowed as he turned the corner and was relieved to see Billie and his band mates sitting in the back of their van.
"Gee?" Billie grinned, hoppping out of the van. "Hey Baby, you're early."
"Yeah, I just thought I'd come and see you before you went on." He laughed as Billie wrapped his arms around his waist. "Did you miss me today?"
"Course I did." Billie smirked, leaning in to give him a soft little kiss. "Hey you taste like cookies, you better have brought me some."
"Mm, you'll just have to come and get some tomorrow." Gerard chuckled, wrapping his arms around Billie's neck and looking over his shoulder at Mike and Tre. "Hey guys!"
"Hey." They waved.
"Are you guys gonna be on soon?" Gerard asked, reaching one of his hands into Billie's hair.
"In a little while but we have some time." Billie smiled, kissing the tip of Gerard's nose. "You want me to get you a drink?"
"They'll serve you alcohol here?"
"Yeah they know me." He chuckled, giving Gerard's hips a squeeze. "It's kinda crowded and people are a little more dangerous here so, I thought you'd be better if you were loosened up a bit. I want you to have fun."
"Alright." Gerard sighed, glancing towards the back door. "Can you just kinda stick with me?"
"Yeah Gerry, come on." Billie smirked, grabbing his hand and tugging him towards the door. "You'll like it here once you get comfortable."
It was like Gerard was hit with a wave of smoke the second Billie opened the door and he coughed as he was togged inside. "Geeze." He croaked, looking around at the swarm of people. It looked like everyone had tattoos and they were all packed so tight into the small bar. "This is where you're playing?" Gerard asked, having to almost shout in order for Billie to hear him.
"It's fine! You'll like it once you get comfy!" Billie yelled as he tugged Gerard through the crowd towards the bar.
Gerard gulped and tried to stay as close to Billie as possible, squeezing his hand tight as they pushed their way through. "How do we get drinks here?"
Billie leaned in so Gerard could hear him and smirked a little. "Bar tender's gay. Hold on." They approached the dirty wooden countertop and Gerard stared with wide eyes, not just at the rows of booze but at the bartender. He looked so young, Gerard would easily believe he was in high school with them.
"Stand back a minute. Pretend you don't know me." Billie instructed before letting go of Gerard's hand and walking up to greet the bartender.
Gerard was only a few feet away but, it was still too loud for him to hear what Billie was saying when he leaned over the counter and flashed that little smirk that was normally only directed at Gerard. He watched nervously with his hands stuffed in his pockets as Billie started obviously flirting with the man behind the bar counter. He was laughing, leaning forward to stay close to the other boy's face. Gerard's heart sank down to his stomach. He didn't like this... Billie was only supposed to use those moves on him.
Billie rolled up the sleeve of his t-shirt and let the bartender feel one of his muscles, making Gerard's hands start to shake. This wasn't fucking okay. Gerard was Billie's boyfriend. He was the one spending hours every day helping him pass his god damn classes. Gerard clenched his fists and glared, prepared to walk over and yank Billie away from that asshole. He would have actually done it if the bartender hadn't handed Billie two beers at that exact moment and Billie turned away.
"Here Baby." Billie smiled, handing Gerard the brown glass bottle. "Hey what's wrong? You look kinda upset."
"U-Umm n-nothing." Gerard shrugged. "Can we go back outside?"
Gerard sighed and raised his voice. "Can we go back outside?! I'm getting really claustrophobic!"
"Oh!" Billie nodded and grabbed Gerard's hand again, pulling him back towards the back door so they could stay out in the parking lot.
Gerard had to hold his breath as they walked through the crowd and breathed a huge sigh of relief when they walked back out into the parking lot. "Damn." He breathed, taking a quick swig from the beer bottle.
"I know it's a little different for you but, you'll get used to it." Billie smiled, kissing Gerard's forehead as he waved back at the guys.
"I guess." Gerard mumbled, walking with Billie back to the van. He really couldn't get that picture out of his head now. Billie letting that other guy feel his muscles like it was nothing. It was way too easy for Billie to cast Gerard aside for someone else. How was he supposed to forget about something like this? He kept his mouth shut and drank his beer while Billie talked to his bandmates about their set, knowing if he opened his mouth he would end up starting something with Billie. He didn't want to upset him before a show.
"Hey why're you so quiet?" Billie murmured, wrapping an arm around Gerard's hips so he could pull him away from the guys a little. "Did the beer upset your stomach or something?"
Gerard shook his head and took another sip.
"Then what's wrong? Is it just because the crowd's too big?"
He shook his head again.
Billie frowned and brought a hand up to rest on Gerard's cheek. "Well tell me then. You're kind of freaking me out."
Gerard shrugged and looked down at his feet. "I don't know, I... I didn't like how you flirted with that guy for drinks." He shuffled his feet a little. "You were doing things you normally only do for me and y-you were letting him feel your muscles and I just um... I know it's stupid but it just made me feel so shitty. I'm sorry."
"Aww, Gee." Billie whispered, smirking at him a little. "You were jealous?"
"A... A little bit."
"You're so cute." Billie murmured, leaning in to kiss Gerard's lips. "You don't have to be jealous. I love you. I'm gonna have to do that sort of thing every once in a while to get what I want or what I need but, I promise I'm not interested in anyone other than you." He kissed him again and savored the feel of Gerard's lips this time, wanting to remember it while he was on stage. "Are you gonna be okay in that crowd?"
"Yeah." Gerard nodded, leaning his head on Billie's shoulder.
"Okay, come here." Billie laughed, wrapping his arms around Gerard without dropping the bottle. "I'll find you after the show and we'll have some fun, alright? It means a lot that you came to see me."
"Okay." Gerard blushed.
"And if you want more to drink just go to the bartender and say you know me. Flirt a little if you have to. It's harmless."
Gerard nodded and got up on his toes to kiss Billie one more time, using his tongue like Billie had taught him so it could be dirty. "Do you have to go set up now?"
"Umm... yeah." Billie stuttered, trying to regain his train of thought. "Damn, I love your fucking tongue."
Gerard giggled and looked back towards the van where Mike and Tre were beginning to unload their equiptment. "Come on, I'll help you set up the stage."
Gerard drank a little more than he should have. The crowd was just really intimidating to him and he wanted to loosen up so, he could enjoy Billie's show. Seven free beers and a cigarette later, Gerard was sucked up in the crowd with everyone else, listening and jumping along as Billie sang. He could feel the bass in his chest and for the first time all month, he felt all his anxieties melting away. Billie looked amazing up on that small stage. Gerard couldn't stop staring at the muscles on his arms as he played guitar and the sweat that kept dripping down his neck. It was just so raw and well... sexy. Not to mention Billie kept looking his way and sending him little winks which did nothing short of making Gerard's heart pound. He was almost eager for it to end just so he could get Billie's pants off.
The second the set was over, Gerard ran up on stage and nearly tackled him in a hug. "That was amazing! You were awesome." He wrapped his arm around Billie's neck and yanked him down into a sloppy kiss so he could taste Billie.
Billie smiled into the kiss and kissed Gerard back as best as he could with his guitar stuck between them. "You're wasted."
"No I'm not." Gerard giggled, rolling his eyes and letting go of the taller boy.
Billie took his guitar off from around his shoulders and set it on the stand, grabbing Gerard's hips and pulling him back in for one more kiss. "Yes you are."
"Mmm, maybe a little. Come on, let's go fool around."
"Damn." Billie chuckled. "You're sexy, drunk."
"Come onnnn. I want to see your dick." Gerard pouted, reaching for Billie's jeans.
"Whoa, slow down Baby." He laughed, grabbing Gerard's hand.
"Can we go to your car?"
"Oh." Billie bit his lip. "Shit, I came here in the van."
"What? Where are we gonna-"
"Bathroom." Billie interrupted, tugging Gerard towards the edge of the stage. "Come on, we can fuck there."
"YES!" Gerard cheered, jumping up and down a little. "Take me!"
"Okay." Billie laughed, giving Gerard's hand a squeeze as they walked off the stage and started to manuever their way through the crowd again. He loved it when Gerard got horny and took the lead. It was insanely hot. He dragged Gerard over to the bathroom and shoved the door open so he could yank him inside.
"Hi." Gerard snickered as he leaned against the door.
"Hey." Billie smirked, leaning in to nuzzle his nose against Gerard's. "You smell like beer."
"You like it."
"I kinda do." He planted a wet kiss on Gerard's jaw.
"What are you gonna do to me?" Gerard beamed, putting his hands on Billie's shoulders. "Can we fuck? Ooh wait maybe I should blow you. Oh! You could blow me! Maybe we should dry hump or something, I really want to-"
Billie kissed him just to shut him up and slipped his tongue through Gerard's soft lips, reaching one hand up to caress his cheek. "Shhh, you're really drunk. Just take your cock out."
Gerard stuck his lower lip out. "I want us to be naked."
"Not in here, Sweetie." Billie chuckled. There was a lot he'd do to get laid but there was no way he was taking all his clothes off in that gross bathroom.
"Fiiiinnneeee." Gerard groaned. He reached down to unzip his jeans but stopped when he felt something building in his stomach. "Wait."
"Fuck, I think I'm gonna throw up." Gerard rambled, stumbling past Billie so he could get to the toilet. "Oh God, I drank too much."
Billie sighed and walked over to him, putting a hand on his back. "Just puke it out, you'll feel better."
Gerard's stomach heaved and he leaned forward as he vomitted into the toilet bowl, the acid burning his throat as his stomach forced it out.
Billie rubbed Gerard's back a little and bent down to kiss the top of his head. "Better?"
"No." Gerard mumbled as he wiped his mouth. "My stomach hurts now."
"Do you want me to take you home?"
Gerard's heart sank and he sat back on his heels. "I wanted to have sex with you."
"We can have sex another time, come on. I'll drive you home in whatever car you brought, okay?"
Gerard gave a sad little nod and pushed himself to his feet, leaning in to hug Billie. "Sorry..."
"It's okay, Gee." Billie smiled, kissing his forehead as he said it. "At least you know your limit now, right?"
He nodded again.
"Okay, come on. I'll give you a blowjob when we get back if you're good."
Gerard rolled his eyes and gave Billie a squeeze. "You're the best."
"I know I am." Billie shrugged. "Now let's go sober you up so, you can go home."
They stopped on the way to get some coffee which Gerard downed in less than a minute. "Can you still tell?"
"Nah." Billie shook his head. "Your mom won't think your drunk. Just act tired."
"Mmkay." Gerard leaned his head on Billie's shoulder and closed his eyes. "Will you carry me to bed?"
"How are you falling asleep after all that coffee?"
"I don't know. I just want to cuddle." Gerard yawned, hugging Billie's arm. "Sleep with me tonight."
"Baby, your mom will see me."
"Nooo just pretend to leave then come through the baaack." Gerard pleaded. "Pleeeaaasssee? I want to be with you and I feel bad about throwing up before getting you off." He stuck his lower lip out. "You were so good tonight, I don't want you to go."
"Aw." Billie chuckled, taking his eyes off the road for a moment to kiss Gerard's forehead. "You're such a Cutie."
"Will you stay?"
"Sure." He shrugged. "As long as you want me to."
"Of course I do." Gerard smiled, pressing his lips to the side of his neck. "Plus, then we can have sex in the morning."
A little something stirred in Billie's lower half and he felt his mouth water a little bit. He was still pretty horny since they hadn't done anything... "Fine."
"Yay!" Gerard cheered, kissing Billie's chin. "Thank youuu." He sing songed, giving Billie a squeeze.
Billie rolled his eyes a little but squeezed Gerard's back. "You're lucky you're so cute."
When they got to Gerard's front door, they said a fake goodbye to each other before Gerard hurried down the basement stairs to wait for Billie to come in through the back.
Billie had to hop the fence and run through the yard but, once he opened the door to the basement, it was definitely worth it.
"Hi." Gerard giggled, looking at Billie from his place on top of the bed with his clothes discarded on the floor and his hand wrapped around his cock. "I'm feeling a little more awake now."
"Umm..." Billie's face turned red and he felt his jeans tightened at the sight. "You've uh... Y'know, you've really come a long way from that boy I kissed under the bleachers."
Gerard just threw his head back and started to jack himself off faster. "Come fuck me."
Billie kicked the door shut and fumbled a bit to lock it as he toed off his shoes. "Do you have a condom?"
"Don't use one."
"...Have I ever told you I love you?"
Gerard laughed and moved over in the bed a little so Billie had some room. "We have to be quiet but, get naked."
Billie fumbled a little as he got his pants down and kicked them off, laughing nervously as he slipped out of his shirt and dropped it to the floor. "You're such a freak. I love it."
"Hey, no half assing this. Get your boxers off too." Gerard demanded, biting his thumbnail as Billie did what he told him. "Now touch yourself."
"Getting a little bossy, aren't you?" Billie chuckled, getting on his hands and knees on the bed in front of Gerard so, he could lean down to kiss him. "I like it."
Gerard wrapped his arms around Billie's shoulders and grinned, pulling him down into another wet kiss slipping his tongue into the larger boy's mouth. "Do you know how hot you are? Because you're insanely hot. I love your body."
"You're still drunk." Billie whispered, pressing a line of kisses down Gerard's neck. "But it's kinda cute."
"Get the lube." Gerard said with a roll of his eyes. "I need to like, get fucked in the next five minutes or I'll explode."
"Fine." Billie chuckled, reaching over to the nightstand to grab the small tube of KY Jelly. He laid on his side next to Gerard once he had it and started to slick up his fingers. "I'm super glad you came to see me tonight."
"Of course I came to see you. You're my boyfriend." He reached over to play with Billie's hair a bit and parted his thighs so Billie could slip his hand between them. "Also, I think I'm too drunk to have nightmares tonight."
Billie slipped one finger in and started kissing Gerard's neck and collar, keeping any hickies he left low so that Gerard could hide them easily. "Damn, you're loosening up quick."
"Mm, you've trained me." Gerard chuckled, petting Billie's hair. "That feels good, put another one in."
Billie added his middle finger and worked them in and out, scissoring them a bit. "Is that good?"
"Yeah." Gerard purred, closing his eyes. "Mmm, just like that." He let out a relaxed little sigh and took his hand away from his cock. "Keep doing that..."
Billie did what he was told and pressed a soft little kiss to the corner of Gerard's mouth. He actually really loved this part. Gerard always made the cutest, softest little moaning sounds and he was just so adorable. "You want a third?"
Gerard gave a lazy nod and nuzzled his head against the pillow. "Yeah, Baby..."
Billie pushed his middle finger in and twisted his fingers around. "Hey, Gee do you want t-" He glanced up and stopped moving his hand, sighing a little. "Are you asleep?"
"Hm?" Gerard's eyes blinked open and he jerked up a little. "Wha?"
Billie rolled his eyes and removed his fingers, wipping them off on Gerard's bedsheets and putting the lube back on the nightstand. "You're falling asleep, Gee. Don't worry about sex."
"Shit, BeeJ I didn't mean to. I still want to have sex." Gerard murmured, putting a hand on Billie's cheek. "I'm sorry, I'm just kinda buzzed still."
"Forget about it, Sweetie." Billie shrugged. "You're tired."
"I'm sorry." Gerard said sadly, rolling over to snuggle into Billie's chest. "I didn't mean to tease you again."
"Don't worry about it, Gee. You're drunk." Billie kissed the top of his head and tugged the covers up to their shoulders, wrapping his arms around Gerard's small frame.
"Are you mad at me?" Gerard asked worriedly, tucking his head into Billie's neck.
"Of course not, Baby. Just go to sleep."
"We're gonna be so horny in the morning." Gerard yawned. "Night."
"Goodnight." Billie laughed, giving Gerard's ass a little squeeze. "I love you."
Gerard hummed happily and placed a lazy kiss to Billie's jaw. "Love you too. Wake me up in the morning to say goodbye."
"I will." Billie smiled. "Just go to sleep."
Billie woke up the next morning, grouchy and exhausted. He had a a huge headache and the last thing he wanted to do was get up early to sneak out.
"Fuck." He grumbled as he tugged his clothes back on. Why had he stayed the night? He felt like complete shit.
"BeeJ?" Gerard yawned, rubbing his eyes a little. "Good morning."
"Yeah, hey." Billie glared, attempting to tug his shoes back on
"What's wrong?" He coughed, running a hand through his hair. "Fuck, is this a hangover? I feel like shit."
"Yeah well, I feel you."
Gerard got himself out of bed and walked over to his dresser so he could at least put some sweatpants on. "Do you know anything that makes this, like, go away?"
"What do you mean?" Billie frowned.
"I don't know, a hangover cure? That sounds like something you would know."
Billie rolled his eyes. "No, Gee. I don't have a magical hangover cure for you. That's ridiculous."
"Oh..." Gerard gulped, feeling his anxiety start to swell up a little. "I... I-I'm sorry, I didn't know..."
"Ugh." Billie sighed.
"I didn't mean to annoy you." Gerard said nervously, wishing he hadn't fallen asleep naked. Even with the sweatpants on now, he felt too exposed. "Are you mad at me?"
"No, Gee." Billie huffed, rubbing his temples. "I'm just... not in the best mood. I'm sorry. I gotta go."
"Okay..." Gerard whispered, his hands starting to tremble as he walked up to him. "C-Can I give you a kiss goodbye?"
"Gerard, I-" Billie looked over at him and felt his heart sink. Why did Gerard have to get scared so easily? It broke Billie's heart seeing him shake. He looked like a puppy that had just been kicked. "Fuck. I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you, I'm just kinda, y'know, grouchy and Ihave a headache." He reached out to put a hand on Gerard's cheek and leaned in to give him a soft little kiss that made Gerard relax. "Try taking an asprin and a tylenol together, that normally helps me with a hangover."
"Thanks, BeeJ." Gerard smiled shyly. "Drive safe, okay? I'll text you later."
"Okay, Baby." Billie chuckled, giving Gerard one more quick kiss before digging his keys out of his pocket. "I'll see you soon."
"See you." Gerard blushed, watching as Billie walked out the back door before going back to bead. His head was really splitting, maybe he would be able to sleep it off.
"Fuck." Billie winced as he touched the bruise on his cheek. He was hoping his mother would be asleep when he got home but, she'd been wide awake and had used one of those stupid bottles to punish him for staying out late. How was he going to explain this to Gerard? He was paranoid enough already about Billie being home with his mother. God, he was so fucking tired of this. Billie knew his mom had been through a lot and he loved her. She was never violent when she was sober but, this was getting to be too much. Maybe Gerard was right... It might be time to do something about this.
"Did you have any nightmares last night?" Gerard's mother asked as she draped a blanket over him, hoping the couch wasn't too uncomfortable.
"No." Gerard croaked. In an attempt to hide his hangover, he'd just pretended to be sick and now his mom was all over him. "Can Billie come back over?"
"I don't want you to get him sick. Just watch T.V. and try to let it out of your system."
"Okay." Gerard sighed. "Thanks Mom."
"Don't worry about it Honey. Try to feel better." She kissed his forehead and headed back towards the stairs so she could get back to work.
Gerard waited for her to leave then took his phone out so he could text Billie. He sort of felt like he might be smothering him but, he worried about him being home with his mother. He was just about to send him a little hello message when his phone started buzzing. "BeeJ?" Gerard asked, holding it up to his ear. "Hey, what's up."
"I can't do it anymore, Gee." Billie sniffed. "I-I can't."
"What's wrong?" Gerard frowned, sitting himself up. "Are you okay?"
"I-I just need to get out of this house." He choked, his voice cracking. "D-Do you think you could get to our spot in the woods? I really need to leave and I want to see you."
"Y-Yeah, of course I can." Gerard promised, hopping up from the couch to find his shoes. "What happened?"
"I'll tell you later just please meet me there." Billie hung up and Gerard scrambled to get his converse on, tying them quickly and scribbling a quick note to his mom on where he would be going so she wouldn't have a heart attack. He stuck his phone in his pocket and ran for the door, grabbing his mother's keys off of the coffee table. Gerard just hoped Billie wasn't hurt or anything, he needed to get there as fast as possible.
By the time Gerard had driven to the forest and run to their special clearing, he was drenched in sweat but, Billie was sitting in the grass with his guitar and Gerard couldn't be more relieved to see him. "BeeJ." He panted. "Jesus, there you are."
"Hey Gee." Billie smiled weakly, putting his acoustic down on the grass and turning to face him. "Aw, did you run all the way here?"
Gerard nodded and ran over to him, his eyes watering as he knelt down beside him. "You scared me."
"Ugh, shit I didn't mean to do that to you." Billie sighed, holding his arms out. "Come here."
Gerard tucked himself into Billie's armpit and hugged him, squeezing him tight as he rested his head on Billie's shoulder. "What happened?"
"I just... I just needed to leave for a while. I couldn't be around my mom." Billie kissed the top of Gerard's forehead and breathed in the scent of his shampoo. "Thanks for coming. You always calm me down."
"Did she hurt you?"
"A little bit but, I'm okay." Billie squeezed him and pulled away a little, blinking his eyes to avoid crying.
"You don't look okay." Gerard murmured, eyeing the dark purple bruise on Billie's cheek. "BeeJ, that looks awful."
"I know, she hit me with a bottle again." He winced as Gerard touched it. "I'm sorry for scaring you."
"Don't apologize, you're hurt." Gerard said in a hushed tone, kissing the tip of Billie's nose. "Can I get you anything?"
"No, I just kinda wanted to be with you." Billie shrugged. "Can um... Can we just lay on the grass and make out a little? I know it sounds kind of stupid but... I just always feel better kissing you."
"Sure, Billie just lie down." Gerard murmured, pushing Billie onto the grass and laying down on top of him. "Come here, I'll keep your mind off it."
"You're the best boyfriend ever." Billie whispered, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy's neck. "I'm like, the luckiest motherfucker on Earth."
Gerard laughed and started pressing soft little kisses to Billie's neck and jaw. "Not as lucky as me." He licked a stripe from Billie's collar to his ear and started to nibble on the skin, making Billie shiver beneath him. "Damn, I'm gettin' good at this."
"You really are." Billie blushed. "Now come here, I need that cute little tongue."
"Mm." Gerard pressed his lips against Billie's and slipped his tongue in, using it to play with Billie's.
Billie pushed his thoughts aside and focused on Gerard's mouth, relishing in the feeling of Gerard's soft lips and tongue. He really loved kissing Gerard. He always tasted minty and his tongue twisted in just the right ways. "Mmm." He mumbled against Gerard's lips, kissing him sweetly and running his hands through his hair. Billie slipped his hand into Gerard's back pocket and gave his ass a squeeze. "God, you have such a hot body."
Gerard chuckled and kissed the part of Billies cheek that didn't have the bruise. "Look who's talking."
Billie rolled his eyes. "Shut up. How's your hangover?"
"Better now." Gerard shrugged, nuzzling his nose against Billie's. "Are you sure you're okay? Tell me what happened."
"I don't really want to relive it, Baby." Billie sighed, rubbing his hand down Gerard's back.
"BeeJ, I can't help you if you don't talk to me. You've given me so much help and support with all my shit, the least I can do is give you the same." Gerard rolled off of him a bit and laid next to Billie with one arm slung over his chest. He pressed his lips to Billie's for one more short moment and looked him in the eye. "Will you please tell me what happened now?"
"Fine." Billie mumbled, looking up at the sky. "I just... I went home yesterday morning and I thought she'd be gone but she wasn't. She was still half drunk and just started yelling about me disappearing all the time. There's always stupid bottles out, she hit me in the side of the head with one of them and cracked another one on my shoulder."
"Shit, I'm not hurting you am I?" Gerard gasped, quickly taking his head off of Billie's shoulder.
"Other shoulder." Billie laughed, pulling Gerard back down. "I just left and came here after that, I think I'm okay now..."
"Oh Billie." Gerard breathed. "What are we gonna do?"
"I don't know. My last hope is getting into that college you're going to."
"Have you worked on that essay?"
"Yeah." Billie blushed. "I uh, got the first five pages."
"Oh yeah?" Gerard giggled, pressing a kiss to Billie's chin. "Wow, you better let me read it if you want that blowjob."
Billie smiled and nuzzled his nose against Gerard's hair. "You're adorable."
"But, y'know if that essay is really good and with the financial aid, you'll have to work your way through your college years but, I think with the band, you could pull it off." Gerard pressed a wet kiss to Billie's lips and grinned. "And you're going to be my room mate, we'll fuck every day and be the best fucking couple ever, yeah?"
"Yeah." Billie snickered, wrapping his arms back around the younger boy. "I love you so much, I can't believe I ever had second thoughts about you."
"Aw." Gerard snuggled in close and gave him a few more small kisses just to try and keep him smiling. "I love you too, Billie. I'm gonna keep you out of that house, okay? I'll talk to my mom, you can stay with us. You're eighteen, your mom can't do much about it anymore."
"Thanks Baby." Billie mumbled as he hugged Gerard tight. "Don't know what I ever did without you."
Gerard hummed happily and rested his head on Billie's chest. "I just want to get you to college with me, okay? It's gonna be awesome."
"I know." Billie smirked, poking Gerard's ribs to make him giggle. "You want to go do some dumb coupley stuff?"
"I don't know, I got some extra cash from that last gig. You want to go get ice cream and I'll take you to the movies?"
"Sure." Gerard grinned, sitting back on his heels. "But let me pay for the ice cream, okay? I feel bad when you always pay for our dates."
"I don't mind, Gee. I like doing it." Billie sat himself up and reached over to tuck a lock of Gerard's hair behind his ear. "Plus, you're totally the girl in this relationship."
Gerard crinkled his nose. "Shut up. Your jeans are tighter than the ones the cheerleaders wear."
"You say it like you don't love it."
Gerard rolled his eyes and pushed himself to his feet, tugging Billie up with him and giving his hands a squeeze. "How 'bout you let me fuck you and then we can decide who's the girl?" He winked, wrapping his arms around Billie's neck.
"I love it when you start acting sexy." Billie whispered, leaning his forehead against Gerard's. "Let's go have fun, yeah?"
"Yeah BeeJ." Gerard said back, touching his lips to Billie's before pulling away to get his guitar for him. "You have to play this for me later though."
"I will." Billie promised him. "Now let's go. You deserve sugar and stuff for running all the way here."
"Alright." Gerard grimaced as they pulled up to the movie theater. "You've gotta start shaving."
"What?" Billie frowned, touching his cheek. "I just did."
"Not your face." Gerard rolled his eyes. "Your pubes. Holy shit, I have to like pick them out of my teeth."
"Hey you were the one who decided to blow me behind the ice cream place." Billie teased, nudging Gerard's side.
"Shut up." Gerard chuckled as he pushed open the door. "Shave your stupid balls."
Gerard ran around to the driver's side and tugged Billie out of the car, giving him a little kiss on the cheek. "I'm buying our tickets, no arguing."
"Alright." Billie smirked, locking his car up before taking Gerard's hand. "But we have to sit in the back."
"Do we ever sit anywhere else?"
"Shh, you're gonna make people look." Gerard blushed as he pressed his lips against Billie's, kissing him softly as the movie played. There weren't many people there but, he'd still prefer not to get caught making out with his boyfriend in public.
"Sorry, you just always get me going." Billie grinned, pushing up the arm rest between them so he could put his arms around Gerard's waist. "Now come here." He slipped his tongue past Gerard's lips and explored all the wet, warm little spaces of Gerard's mouth.
Gerard purred into the older boy's mouth and reached his hands up to twist in Billie's hair. Sometimes it felt like all they ever did was make out but, Gerard knew that Billie was having a rough time and it just felt so good to be constantly loved. "You taste like popcorn." He giggled, nuzzling his nose against Billie's. "It's cute."
"Hey, I'm sexy not cute. You're the cute one." Billie kissed him again. "You big teddy bear."
"Aw, I'm a teddy bear." Gerard smiled, kissing the corner of Billie's mouth. "I like that."
"God, you're adorable." Billie whispered, leaning in to bring their lips back together when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. "Shit, hold on." He wrapped one arm around Gerard's shoulders and took his phone out, flipping it open to see who it was. "Fuck." He breathed, seeing his mother's phone number.
Gerard felt him tense and looked over worriedly. "Who is it?"
"I-It's my mom..."
"Don't answer it." Gerard whispered. "Just put it away."
"What if she-"
Gerard put a finger on his lips and took the phone from him, stuffing it in his pocket. "Ignore it. I'm not letting her hurt you." He pulled Billie back in and kept kissing him, keeping his actions gentle and loving to calm him. "Don't worry about it."
Billie made a quiet little mmm sound against Gerard's mouth and shut his eyes. "Okay..."
"Just focus on other things." Gerard used his tongue in the ways Billie had taught him and put a hand on his thigh, drawing little circles on it because he knew it turned him on.
"I... I don't know Gee." Billie sighed, pushing him away a little. "I-I can't really focus on that right now, let's just watch the movie."
"Oh..." Gerard's heart sank. "Um... okay. Sure." He snuggled into Billie's side and rested his head back on his shoulder. "Can I still cuddle with you?"
"Y-Yeah, I guess..." Billie mumbled, shifting uncomfortably. He always got so anxious when shit with his mother came up. He didn't really want to be touched but, he didn't want to hurt Gerard's feelings either.
Gerard nuzzled his head against Billie's shoulder and laced his fingers through the older boy's.
Billie flinched a little and tried to calm himself down a little. The last thing Billie wanted to do was make Gerard feel bad just for showing affection.
"Why are you so tense?" Gerard whispered. "Are you that worried about your mom?"
"I-I'm fine, Gee."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!" Billie hissed, pulling away from him. "Just back off, okay? Watch the stupid movie."
Gerard whimpered a little and nodded his head quickly. "Sorry." He squeaked, wringing his hands together anxiously as he leaned away from Billie to avoid touching him. "I-I didn't mean to be annoying, I'll shut up." He glued his eyes to the screen and tried not to let his anxiety overwhelm him. Gerard hated being snapped at. He was only trying to be sweet, why did Billie have to do that?
"Fuck." Billie sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I didn't mean that, I'm just on edge."
"It's okay." Gerard gulped, blinking his eyes rapidly. "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize... Fuck, I can't look at you like this." Billie wrapped his arm around Gerard's shoulders and pulled him in close again. "I'm sorry, I'm just stressed. Come here." He hugged him loosely and pressed his lips to the top of Gerard's head. "You okay?"
"Y-Yeah, just um..." He took a deep breath and snuggled in close with him. "You scared me a little."
"Ugh, poor thing." Billie sighed, giving him a squeeze. "Just stay close to me, I'm sorry."
Gerard put his head back on Billie's shoulder and hugged his arm as he turned his attention back to the movie, breathing in Billie's scent to help calm him down.
Billie's heart sank and he laced his fingers through Gerard's so he could hold his hand. He was so cute, Billie hated yelling at him. For the rest of the movie, Billie cuddled and kissed him a lot until he had him smiling again, just making sure he wasn't still upset. Billie never wanted Gerard to be anxious around him. His own anxiety was situational but, Gerard's was near constant. It should be Billie's job to help him manage it. "You look really cute in the dark." He whispered, planting a little kiss on Gerard's forehead as they looked at the screen.
"BeeJ." Gerard blushed.
"What? You do." Billie chuckled, giving Gerard a little squeeze.
Gerard relished in Billie's warmth and pressed a soft kiss to the side of his neck. "You're sweet."
They stayed close for another moment, watching as everyone filed out of the theater. Billie really just didn't want to move but, he could sense Gerard dozing off. "Sleepy?"
"A little." Gerard yawned as he hopped into the passenger seat. "You're sleeping with me tonight, right?"
"Yeah, I guess... I can't go back home tonight."
"Poor Baby." Gerard sighed, buckling his seat belt and waiting for Billie to get settled in behind the wheel before hugging his arm. "Let's go home, I want to cuddle with you."
"Aw." Billie gave him a kiss on the forehead and started the car. "Come on, I'll take you home."